Toby Keith had written hundreds of songs throughout a career filled with country music hits. But in May 2009, Toby Keith wrote something different. It wasn’t meant for radio, an album, or a sold-out concert. It was meant for one final goodbye to a close friend.
The song was called “Cryin’ for Me (Wayman’s Song),” written in memory of former NBA star and jazz bassist Wayman Tisdale. What happened between the day Toby Keith wrote it and the day Toby Keith finally recorded it became one of the most personal stories of Toby Keith’s career.
A Friendship That Ended Without Warning
Wayman Tisdale was much more than a basketball legend. After 12 seasons in the NBA, Wayman Tisdale built a successful career as a jazz bassist. Music brought Wayman Tisdale and Toby Keith together, and their shared Oklahoma roots helped turn that connection into a close friendship.
In April 2009, Wayman Tisdale and wife Regina attended the Academy of Country Music Awards in Las Vegas, using seats Toby Keith had provided. The friends also had dinner together.
A few weeks later, Wayman Tisdale contacted Toby Keith about borrowing tour buses for upcoming performances. They exchanged phone messages as they worked out the arrangements.
Then, on Friday, May 15, 2009, Toby Keith received news that Wayman Tisdale had died at the age of 44.
In a later interview with CMT, Toby Keith remembered being overwhelmed by the news. Just days earlier, the two friends had still been discussing future plans.
Now those plans would never happen.
The Song Toby Keith Wrote on Sunday Morning
For two days, Toby Keith struggled to process the loss. Then, on Sunday morning, May 17, Toby Keith sat down and wrote a song for Wayman Tisdale.
The intention was simple. Toby Keith wanted to perform something personal at the funeral, a final musical gift for someone who had meant so much.
But writing the song and singing it turned out to be two very different things.
As Toby Keith prepared for the service, the emotions behind the lyrics became too difficult to manage. Every attempt to finish the song brought the loss back into focus.
In the CMT interview, Toby Keith explained that the song was simply too emotional to get through. It would take another month or two before Toby Keith felt ready to record it.
The Day Toby Keith Had to Choose Another Song
On May 21, 2009, approximately 4,000 mourners gathered at the BOK Center in Tulsa, Oklahoma, to celebrate Wayman Tisdale’s life.
Family members, athletes, musicians, and longtime friends came together to remember a man whose warmth and generosity had touched so many lives.
Toby Keith had hoped to stand before those mourners and sing the tribute written just four days earlier.
But Toby Keith knew the song was still too painful to perform.
Instead, Toby Keith chose Willie Nelson’s “Angel Flying Too Close to the Ground.”
It was a familiar song, one that allowed Toby Keith to honor Wayman Tisdale without having to sing the deeply personal words written in the immediate aftermath of the loss.
For an artist who had performed before enormous crowds around the world, this was a different kind of challenge. The difficulty wasn’t remembering the melody or finding the right notes. It was getting through the song at all.
The Familiar Voice Toby Keith Couldn’t Let Go
When Toby Keith finally entered the recording studio, the tribute gained another remarkable detail.
Toby Keith had called Wayman Tisdale’s cellphone simply to hear the familiar outgoing voicemail greeting again. The recorded voice was eventually placed at the beginning of “Cryin’ for Me (Wayman’s Song).”
Toby Keith also invited two musicians who had been close to Wayman Tisdale to participate. Saxophonist Dave Koz and bassist Marcus Miller brought a gentle jazz influence to the recording, connecting the tribute to the musical world Wayman Tisdale loved.
The finished song appeared on Toby Keith’s 2009 album American Ride and was released as a single that October.
On April 18, 2010, Toby Keith performed “Cryin’ for Me (Wayman’s Song)” with Dave Koz at the Academy of Country Music Awards, nearly eleven months after Wayman Tisdale’s death.
The performance also supported Stand Up To Cancer through ACM Lifting Lives.
A Goodbye That Took Time to Sing
What makes “Cryin’ for Me (Wayman’s Song)” so moving isn’t simply that Toby Keith wrote it after losing a friend. It’s the fact that Toby Keith couldn’t perform it when the loss was still so fresh.
In the song, Toby Keith acknowledges something many people recognize after saying goodbye to someone they love: grief isn’t always about worrying for the person who is gone. Sometimes it comes from realizing how much that person’s absence will change everyday life.
Toby Keith eventually found the strength to record and perform the tribute. But the story began with something much smaller than a country music hit.
It began with two friends making plans over the telephone, and one friend left wishing there could have been just one more conversation.